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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26273734">Cold and Cruel</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoncore/pseuds/neoncore'>neoncore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon Universe, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Sad Ending, i honestly don't know how to tag i'm sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:55:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26273734</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoncore/pseuds/neoncore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The world was a cold, cruel place. Levi knew that. </p><p>~</p><p>Or, Levi thinks about Erwin's death after they retake Wall Maria.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi/Erwin Smith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cold and Cruel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! This is my first fic for the Attack on Titan fandom, since I just finished watching it yesterday, but these two stole my heart already and I couldn't help writing something angsty about them.<br/>I hope you enjoy &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world was a cold, cruel place. Levi knew that.</p><p>Not only did he witness its cruelty first hand, he helped fuel it. Without a moment to stop and take a breath, to think about the direction he was leading the world in. He, and the rest of the Scouts.</p><p>He thought he didn't need it. He told himself that lie so many times he almost started to believe it; that all he had to do was make a decision and detach himself from it, to observe the consequences unravel before him, and make more decisions based on that.</p><p>That's why he was always so quick to adapt to tough situations. He was always detached from his own emotions.</p><p>Well, that's what he showed most people, anyway.</p><p>There was one person who got to see his other side. The one that wasn't very different from the vulnerable, broken boy he once was.</p><p>It was the first night in his life when he didn't hear the screams and growls of titans crawling right outside the walls. This time, all he heard was the quiet howling of the wind as it sang its own requiem of misery.</p><p>He was standing in their- in his room, gazing out the window. The starry eyes of the night sky were looking at him with pity and something akin to concern as cool moonlight poured into the small room.</p><p>It glimmered in the green gemstone he was holding in his hand, the specks of silver dancing on the Wings of Liberty painted inside.</p><p>The longer he glared at it, the more he wanted to smash it on the floor and stomp on it unless it's nothing more than a pile of emerald dust.</p><p>And yet, he didn't.</p><p>Because somewhere, deep inside that small ornament, beyond the endless green and the tiny painting, he could see memories swirling around.</p><p>Just as they have been in his mind since the day they lost the Commander.</p><p>Since he lost Erwin.</p><p>It was ridiculous, really. He thought life was supposed to flash before his eyes at the moment of death, not when he was still breathing.</p><p><span>A part of you wished you weren't</span>, a voice in his mind seemed to whisper.<span> A part of you died with him that day.</span></p><p>He closed his eyes, desperate to keep the tears from falling. Still, a few slid down his cheeks.</p><p>It was almost like the night before retaking Wall Maria all over again.</p><p>He could almost feel Erwin's arm around his shoulders, the look of concern in his icy eyes when the small droplets hit his palm. He could almost taste the bitter whiskey on Erwin's lips as they shared a kiss in the moonlight.</p><p>Levi opened his eyes, looking up at the sky once again.</p><p>The world was a cold, cruel place. Levi knew that.</p><p>But somehow, it felt colder and more cruel without Erwin in it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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